OK, so is this pathetic or what? In previous posts, I have asked amateur psychologist A-Town readers to refrain from offering diagnoses, analyses and/or prognoses about my seemingly strange thoughts, dreams or habits. Today, however, I’m actually curious to know what people think this means—here goes: On most major and minor holidays, I want the world to myself. OK, not necessarily the world—just my house. I want everyone to go away, do their celebrating (or whatever it is that people feel compelled to do on holidays) and Leave Me Alone so I can clean my house and finally, once and for all—or at least for one blessedly uncluttered day—get things in order. I have often thought, “If I could just start fresh, I might be able to maintain a tidy household.” But I can never seem to “get there.” Life keeps happening. Projects and people keep beckoning. And I respond. (Shouldn’t I respond? I am a responsible person, after all.)
This isn’t another one of those “I Hate Valentine’s Day” rants. I don’t hate Valentine’s Day. I don’t dislike any of the holidays I wish to ignore. I just feel ambivalent about many of them, I guess. If there’s a day off, I want to seize it. I want to do all the things I feel deprived of doing on most “regular” days of the year: Laundry, dishes, organizing, painting… On Mother’s Day two years ago, I gave the upstairs toilet a thorough scouring—and that was truly what I wanted to do on my “special” day! Yes, yes, we chip away at these mundane tasks every day at our house. It’s just that none of it ever seems to get “done.” Not completely. There’s never enough time, it seems. And our version of “keeping up with the housekeeping” seems to fall far short of most other people’s. (I know, I know, I shouldn’t compare. But I do. And so do you—admit it!)
I’ve grown too vulnerable and possibly (just a little bit) whiny in this post, so now I’ll stop and let the “masses” have their input. Why, oh why, do I wish to be a holiday hermit? (And do any of you, too?)
P.S. My holiday of exception is Easter. I love celebrating Easter. It’s my favorite.
4 comments:
I hear you, Marsha. I'm there too. But when I'm alone a can't seem to get anything done. I think I need the stimulation of having the family around. When it comes to getting organized or just having a clean house, I turn to Flylady.net. It's a website for procrastinators and perfections. Lots of good advice. FLYing stands for Finally Loving Yourself.
Love you!
Hot Mama Sue
I listened as my fellow nurses aides talked about what they did on their day off--cook. It seems they didn't have a plan, which is fine, except goals should be set if you really want to accomplish something. Perhaps their unspoken goal was to relax, and that is as it should be.
I'm a gene believer. When you connect two race horses together you usually end up with a race horse. In order to achieve you need to believe.
I think you are too hard on yourself. Housework is ALWAYS there. You can never be DONE, unless you kick your family out. Doesn't it say in Scripture somewhere -- "housework you will always have with you" ?? ;-)
All that you can require of yourself is that you do the best you can do and still enjoy your family.
I read somewhere when my kids were at home that the best mothers are the ones that don't worry about their housekeeping. I failed as a "best" mother. :\
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