Pee and Peppermint

Originally Posted Jan. 17, 2009 @ lifeinatown.wordpress.com

This is a story about our downstairs bathroom. We have a 4-year-old son. Anyone who lives with a little boy can relate: They might be potty-trained, but their aim stinks. And I mean, literally, stinks.

First, there’s the wet seat problem – despite my repeated admonitions for Ben to please lift up both toilets lids, he frequently forgets. Then, I frequently forget that he forgets and – doh! – I sit on the peed-on potty. Hate that.

The second and more vexing problem is the smell the errant pee causes when some of it lands on the floor and dries there. And no matter how hard I try to clean the toilet bowl and the surrounding area on a regular, almost-daily basis, I can’t keep up! The bathroom always seems to smell like pee.

Another one of our potty problems is the traveling soap and towel set. I’ve tried bar soap, liquid soap, foaming soap, even dish soap, but I haven’t yet secured a soap that will last more than two days in our bathroom. The kids play with it, drain it, hide it, or drop it behind the bureau, only to be rediscovered clumped up with the dust bunnies six months later. As for hand-wiping implements, our youngsters seem to think a wet towel is a happy towel – they douse any and every piece of cloth (or paper) that I place within three feet of the sink.

My father works part time at a grocery store. About a month ago, he brought home a lovely, pearlescent, pear-shaped dispenser filled with special, holiday-scented soap: Peppermint Vanilla. I received it as one would a treasure. I protected it from the resident soap-snatchers by stealthily stashing it behind the bathroom curtain, on the upper level of the double-hung window sill – surely, I thought, this one will survive.

For the last month, the soaps have rotated as usual though the family wash basin, while I have carefully apportioned a half-pump’s-worth of Peppermint Vanilla lava-like surfactant onto my skin and enjoyed the luxury and success of my personal soap supply.

Two nights ago, however, our two potty predicaments converged: A friend of mine had come to see me. In preparing the house for her visit, I left the precious peppermint soap perched on the sink so that, should nature call, she could enjoy the extravagance of washing her hands with something other than grease-fighting dish detergent. I think she did, in fact, use the restroom while she was here. So I should have felt proud of making provision for my guest. However, I forgot to return the soap to its hiding place.

Two hours later, I was sorting books in an upstairs bedroom when I heard my husband Will exclaim: “Oh, man! This is dangerous, you guys.” I dashed down, only to discover my fears confirmed: My lovely peppermint gift-soap, thickly lathered all over the downstairs bathroom floor. My heart sank (unreasonably, I realize – this was soap, Grace – keep your eternal perspective!) but 10 minutes later I laughed out loud when I realized: No more pee smell! The peppermint wiped up the pee. At least for the next 24 hours.

Original Comments:

1. Grace - This is wonderful - you are such a gifted writer, and I love the stories about family life - they are the best !! Love - Renee
Comment by Renee — January 17, 2009 @ 11:20 am

2. Hey, that’s the same topic that got “Will” banned from speaking in school. You guys are two pees in a pod (no pun intended…)
Comment by Randy LeBaron — January 17, 2009 @ 1:22 pm

3. My boyfriend and Ben have much in common! Maybe I need to invest in some of that stuff.
Comment by Jean — January 17, 2009 @ 9:10 pm

4. ha ha ha Soap may not be safe but it is good.
Comment by Lucille — January 25, 2009 @ 6:22 pm

5. ROFLOL!! Kids are an adventure!! Some day, maybe you’ll have an ensuite to the bedroom. Then, you can have your very own lovely, smelling soaps. It’s something I splurge on for myself, now that I’m single. Yummy smelling soaps from Bath & Body Works.
Comment by SeekingPlumb — January 25, 2009 @ 6:28 pm