Monday, February 25, 2013

Monday (Under) Shorts


The problem with fluorescent yellow toenail polish, of course, is that the fluorescence fades. And then you’re just left with yellow toenails.
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Pacing is not my forte. I’ve devoured the first two seasons of The West Wing in about three weeks’ time. I’m taking a break now. And also from Scrabble. I have no turns left to play; my games are completed; so long, time suck. (Not a very nice term, but an accurate one.)
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Searching for the right word for my immoderate consumption of the aforementioned TV show led me to the synonym “bolted.” Which reminded me of this classic exchange between my father and his colleague many years ago…in the A-Town middle school faculty lunch room:

Mr. Smalley: Quit Bolton your food.
Mr. Bolton: OK, I’ll take Smalley bites
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Speaking of quality television programming, our daughter Delia favours a Canadian kid show called Calliou (pronounced K-eye-yu). The theme song provides ample explanation of the show’s premise: “I’m just a kid who’s 4 / Each day I grow some more / I like exploring / I’m Calliou. So many things to do / Each day is something new / I’ll share them with you / I’m Calliou, Calliou, I’m Calliou, Calliou… That’s me!”

We canceled cable, so we watch stuff on Neflix now, which allows you to rate what you watch, which prompts the system to suggest more shows you’d likely enjoy, based on your ratings. The other day I noticed that Calliou had received only one star out of five. Turns out Reuben, in an understated expression of rebellion, had expressed his distaste for the whiny, bald-headed preschooler with overly patient parents. Can’t say I blame him.
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And in the NON-children’s television category, check out this blush-worthy vignette from the Ellen Degenres Show, in which my sister and brother-in-law’s nephew, Mike, WINS the Ellen Underwear Contest. As my mother might say, “Now I’ve seen everything!” Or…er…almost everything.

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